2010 new start or new test

alright
so, 2009 looked more like a over the top love movie filled with lies and hate coming right off the silver screen, alot of hurt and depression went with that year. i know that, alot of the haunting thoughts that constantly torture me every single day from my past aren't going to go away anytime soon, and 2010 is just another test to see if i can fight them. i keep myself up with the whole "everything happens for a reason" excuse. I'm hoping one day this on going pain might pay off. I'm probably not making much sense right now, but i also don't really care, because i know there's at least one person in this world that is going to read this. and i know that person cares. and even though they don't realise it. i love them, more than they will ever know. 2009 was really just another test for me. to see how much i could be broken. To see just how much pressure i could take, and i admit, i crushed, my mind went blank, and i did something i look back upon now i wish i hadn't. Its just made me realise just how vulnerable i am. Me and my mom are in a awkward trance after what happened on Christmas. i really do regret it, i just don't know how i could ever explain it to her. i really wish i could tell her what happened to make me this way . This silence tortures me. be aware i go back and forth on these subjects alot. don't really know why. I'm sat trying to convince myself something good came out of 2009. and perhaps one day ill realise something good did. But as far as I'm concerned everything Ive ever really needed was already firmly in place. Just these few angels that keep me going. One standing out above the rest. I know its asking alot here but, i need to find my somebody, I miss the feeling of being complete, to be familiarized by somebody, just without the word liar in it, i want that somebody i can put my absolute everything into just so i can see that one smile that makes me feel worth something. i wanna make a difference in somebody's life. just need somebody to take a liking to that idea ahah

i really couldn't care that i don't make much sense, screw you 2009

Lyricalistic idealistics? fucksticks?

fuck knows

Take a look at the stars tonight
and relise what you threw away
id do anything to look into your eyes tonight
they keep me burning inside

the moments forever captivated in my thoughts
never fading away
ill share the stars with you tonight
in my only hope that youll stay

would you stay with me?
or was that just a lie
but baby i can keep dreaming
till it starts to hurt inside

i dont know why i keep hanging on
whilst i tear apart inside
i cant seem to let go
and i dont, know why









life of mistakes


"Im caught up"
"In a life of mistakes"
"I run away, from everything"
"Theres no difference that i make"
"And the truth is, im so afraid"
"I dont wanna even hear your name, again"

"I'll always miss you, even if you never cared, you were never really there"
"What you mean to me, i dont know"

Starfall - Song - Tears like rain

the clouds weep down with pouring rain
and i know you dont love me the same, as before
there is no cure
you stay to watch me squirm and crawl
with a smile, that keeps me wanting more
you like to play
im not a game

and with every tear, with every fall
i only end up wanting you more
but im in pain
you dont feel the same,
Tears Like Rain

and i sit writing songs whenever i fall
hoping youll come back just once more
to take this pain, and throw it away

with all those word i never dare say
come pouring out with tears like rain
you stayed the same
your so deranged

and with every smile, with every cure
you only end up hurting me more
you put me in pain
but id do it again




to see you once more

Starfall - Song - Sweet Seduction (with musical arrangement)

verse 1

"shes fucking sleazy she knows just how i like it"
"she likes to tease because she knows i wont fight it"
"she's innocent cos she knows how to hide it"
"shes heroine, she's my sweet seduction"

chorus 1

"The City sleeps, while she lies awake in my bed"
"Shes heroine, I love how she fucks with my head"
"shes got an appetite, i aint gonna fight it"
"shes heroine, she's my sweet seduction"

verse 2
"shes a drug she knows how to abuse me"
"she gets what she wants, but i know she wont use me"
"her loves like fire, but i know she wont burn me"
"she's heroine, she's my sweet seduction"

chorus 2
"The City sleeps, while she lies awake in my bed"
"Shes heroine, I love how she fucks with my head"
"shes got an appetite, i aint gonna fight it"
"shes heroine, she's my sweet seduction"

bridge
"she taste so good, it keeps me far from sober"
"she like to scratch, and fucking bite me all over"

Build

"I love the sweat, the taste, her scent"
"she loves, the way, i bite, torment"

guitar solo


"The City sleeps, while she lies awake in my bed"
"Shes heroine, I love how she fucks with my head"
"shes got an appetite, i aint gonna fight it"
"shes heroine, she's my sweet seduction"

Starfall - Song - Kill the sun

praise the moon, kill the sun
and watch it bleed
bleed it out

hit my heart, make it numb
make it brake
and call it love

look in the mirror
look in your eyes
look in your heart
and watch me burn

love is a lie
its just some fun
you like to play
with everyone

you like to tease
you like to hide
you like to make me hurt inside
you like to use me to kill some time
to throw me away at sunrise

so...

praise the moon, kill the sun
and watch it bleed
bleed it out

Starfall - Song - I dont love you anymore

I thought i could live in your heart
I thought i could burn in your eyes alone
I thought we could wait for the stars
to burn up and light up the sky for you

I thought we would fall in love
I thought i could spend all my days with you
It turns out that im just a fool
for being in love with you

and im sick and tired, of getting hurt
getting thrown away
and i dont love you anymore
i dont love you anymore

figure it out for yourself
cos im not hurting for you, anymore
read between the lines
try to find whats right
on your own, on your own

i cant even look you in the eyes
im not taking anymore of your lies
no not this time, not this time

and im sick and tired, of getting hurt
getting thrown away
and i dont love you anymore
i dont love you anymore

Starfall - Song - Hearts Across Oceans

so, you know, my heart, is beating for you
and whilst we talk, i know.
we can make this last forever

so dry you eyes your not alone tonight (im right here with you)
you are my angel you keep me safe inside (ill be right here by your side)
theres nothing i wouldnt give up for you
your my angel, you shine so bright
and the hardest part is not being able to hold you tight

because words arnt enough to say
i only hope that youll stay
lets share the sky tonight
your eyes shine like the stars tonight

please, baby, dont cry
you should know that
i would rather die
than see you cry again

so dry you eyes your not alone tonight (im right here with you)
you are my angel you keep me safe inside (ill be right here by your side)
theres nothing i wouldnt give up for you
your my angel, you shine so bright
and the hardest part is not being able to hold you tight